I was excited to finally get back out there by myself but I was feeling trepidation as well. What if I no longer liked backpacking? What if I got lonely? What if I ran out of water? What if this is too hard for me and I haven't trained enough?
I hadn't been on this trail since the devastating Bighorn Fire burned almost 200,000 acres of the Santa Catalina Mountains. It was started by a lightning strike on June 5, 2020 near Bighorn Mountain (hence the name) and burned until July 23, 2020. Due to an almost non-existent monsoon season and extremely dry conditions the wildfire spread quickly from one side of the Catalinas to the other. It was gut wrenching to see the entire mountain up in flames and see billows of smoke from my backyard.
"After driving from Tucson to Lone Pine, getting my permit at the Eastern Sierra Interagency Visitors Center, parking my car at the Lone Pine Film History Museum's long term parking lot, making sure I had everything I needed in my insanely heavy pack, and after having one more freak out, I met Lone Pine Kurt."
Then I thought of another what if: what if I got out there and loved it. What if I started hiking and I felt so strong and I wanted to keep going? What if I conquered my fears and attempted this hike even though I'm still scared? What if I miss out on an amazing adventure because I doubt myself?
Bravery isn’t something you do once and then check off your list. It’s a constant thing. Just because you’ve done a brave thing doesn’t mean you’re not scared to do it again.