Camping by myself for the first time
My little heart is bursting with joy and pride because last night I did something I've wanted to do for a long time: I camped by myself.
For years I've wanted to do that but fear and anxieties made me second guess myself. "Maybe I'm not ready. I"ll probably make a million mistakes and embarrass myself. What if a stranger/wild animal/deranged murderer comes into camp in the middle of the night? Who am I kidding, I don't even belong out there. This is too much for me, I should just stick to day hiking. I don't even know what I'm doing.."
Those doubts are now quiet. Yes, I made mistakes but that's how you learn. Yes, I was still scared something might happen but everything was fine. And you know what? Now I feel like I can do anything. I DO know what I'm doing. I DO belong out there. I'm a brave, strong, badass woman!
Driving down the mountain all sweaty and dirty and smelling like campfire (campfire I started with the wood I sawed and chopped myself!) tears of gratitude ran dow my face. I saw before me mountains and peaks I've stood on the top of (Mt. Wrightston, Baboquivari) and others I hope to climb soon (Mica Mt, Rincon Peak, Wasson Peak). I remember sitting in my little studio apartment in Chicago dreaming of mountains and wanting so desperately to be out here climbing them and now I am!